Ethan just left for his first day of Grade 1. I’ve been stressing badly the past week and this morning was strangely stress-free. I think because I’ve already tied up all the loose ends I could and prepared well and yesterday’s practice lunch went so well that today is sure to not be eaten at all.

So now it’s Victor and myself and Victor had a little breakdown this morning over breakfast, not wanting Ethan to go to school. It was sweet in a whiny, annoying kinda way.

With all this time available to myself, now, I’ll be able to catch up on the stuff I’ve let slide the past month – Ethan’s birthday letter, garden blog posts, reorganizing the office, cleaning the kitchen, preparing for winter. It’s going to be nice to get things done!

(oh I hope today goes well! K and I both have a good feeling about this year and I’m scared we’ll be proven so very wrong.)

So when we were driving back from Maine we stopped at a McDonald’s to catch lunch and a chat with an old friend of Ken’s. It was the kind with a Playland and though we’ve never let the boys into one of those infectious, germ-holes before, we were eager for the chance to chat with old friends so we let the boys loose.

2 days later Ethan was throwing up, and Victor and I were looose. Ethan had that week to be sick, we canceled a trip up to the lake. Victor started throwing up a few days later, and was sick all last week.

Sharon came down this weekend, desperate for time with her grandsons. We went on a nature walk/hike at Child’s Park (pictures up later) yesterday morning and had a picnic for lunch in our yard. Ken threw up in the woods outside our yard shortly thereafter and continued to do so all of yesterday and last night. I have as close to an iron stomach as you can get, but it was *really* close for me last night. Fever, chills, aches, headaches, vomiting, looooseness…. the works. I haven’t been sick like this in ages.

We’re some better today, Ken more than myself (seems I’m a few hours behind him). I hate Playlands.

I had to mention “no vomiting” didn’t I? That was last night, all night, for Ethan. Thankfully he’s feeling better today and able to keep food down. Good thing, too, since we’re completely out of sheets and towels to cover his bed with. The unfortunate truth being that today I’d planned on mixing up some laundry soap because we’re out (laundry soap takes 24hrs to cure, typically – I’ll have to ignore that today).

Last night Ethan told me that his tummy was angry and I said I thought he must have caught something and he said with utmost seriousness “Yes, I caught a fish. In my mouth.”

Damn fish.

All vacations should be like the one we just had. A week with beautiful weather; cooperative, happy children; and loads of fun. No injuries (minor pavement skidmarks excluded), no emotional meltdowns, no vomiting.

We spent the week at a campground called Stadig that was fabulous. Cheap, super friendly and helpful, great playground for the kids. We had some noisy neighbours who stayed up late into the night talking (loudly) but it didn’t bother the boys much and I had earplugs. We put the boys on either side of us (Ken and I in the middle) and that worked really well and they slept fantastically.

We tried to keep the boys sleeping schedule as it normally is (tried to) and so we were up pretty early each morning (a challenge because the campground has quiet time til 9am). That worked to our advantage a few times when we went out for breakfast and got into popular places before the morning rush.

Saturday: Our trip “started” with lots of car packing and cramming stuff into the back. I think next time we’ll have a different grill (we have a little Weber Q which we love and is very portable but a tad big for these trips) since ours is slowly dying, so we’ll have more room for other things.

Sunday: We left early in the morning, stopping at Dunkin Donuts for breakfast (a big success with the boys and donut balls, a big failure for me and their terrible coffee). We drove and drove and drove. Google claimed 6hrs from here to there, we made it in 8 (we do this, I don’t know where the time goes).

Monday: BEACH! We were staying in Wells, ME, so we went to the Wells beach. They have a fantastic trolley system in Wells that’s super cheap so we used that quite a lot. The weather was very sunny and hot and the beach was very crowded but we had a great time. The boys splashed in the waves, tried going a bit deeper and decided they weren’t ready for that yet. We collected shells and played in the sand and the shallow waves.

Tuesday: we drove south to York’s Wild Kingdom (animals!). A really cute little zoo that seems to take pretty good care of it’s animals. They had a really nice variety (lions, tigers, bears, elephants, camels, sadly no giraffes as Victor wanted to see).

They got to feed the deer, of course.

They got to feed the ducks.

They got to try chocolate covered frozen bananas on a stick (and Mommy got to finish them).

Afterward we drove around a bit further north to see what we could see there. Found a cute little toy shop and got some wooden cars and trains for the boys to play with in the tent.

Wednesday: E’s birthday!! Donuts for breakfast. Kennebunk beach, we were assured, was a 15min walk from where the Wells trolley stopped. We walked, occasionally carrying the boys and our stuff (I carried Victor most of the way), about 3 miles to the beach, and then found the one we wanted (has a playground) was “just around the hook” (turned out to be around the 2nd hook) – another 2mi of walking. Thankfully the first stretch of beach was a treasure trove of shells, so Victor was kept very amused collecting them. Ethan had his heart set on the playground and was very happy to see it when we got there. The beach was nice, the water was chilly but very doable, the waves were great. Sadly the sun was *hot* and when we ended up missing the Kennebunk trolley we had to wait an hour in the hot sun for the next (Ken burned the top of his feet, I burned my calves). We wished we’d spent more time in the water, Ken and I both. Gramps and Nana came to Wells in the afternoon and we had a nice dinner with the boys entertained by arcade games while we talked.

Thursday: We, and Gramps (Nana had a book report to do), took the Downeaster train into Boston (train!)

went to the New England Aquarium (fish! penguins! sharks!)

walked through town,

fighting the crowds to find a McDonalds (nuggets!).

Then.it.rained. The kind of rain that hits SW Ontario in August. Torrential. Awesome. (Well, I love that kind of rain, others of my party don’t so much.) We had extra time since the aquarium didn’t take as long as we’d expected. We struggled though town with a bad map to find the subway (subway!!) and took it to the Science Museum (contraptions! dinosaurs! cool stuff!) We’d have loved to spend more time there – it’s definitely a whole day kinda place and we’re intending to go back in a few years – but we had a train to catch. By then the rain was truly pouring down and the roads rivers (!) were a challenge to ford. We were soaked to the skin but made it to the subway, then the train station, in time. Donuts for the boys for dinner and partly dried clothes thanks to the bathroom hand dryers meant they were more comfortable and rode back to Wells very well behaved (aquarium giftshop toys help, naturally). Thankfully my cameras were not damaged from the rain. We’d brought Ethan’s meds for this day and decided to try without them and it worked out really well – he was great.

Friday: Success from the past few days of going places had us trying to find the Children’s Museum in Dover NH. Took a while and we got lost, but we found it and what a cute little place! Small, but with lots for kids to do. We spent a few hours there then dragged the boys outside with the promise of another playground and then lunch. It was late when we got back, but we had a light dinner at Gramps/Nana’s cabin, then the adults sat outside chatting while the boys sat in the cabin and watched the 1-hr special Phineas and Ferb (the timing of that night was impecable). It was a late night, but a good one.

Saturday: Our last day on vacation meant we had to spend it at the beach. Gramps brought bubbles (which were enjoyed by a lot of children and we were later thanked by one mother for entertaining her kids for a while and giving her and her husband a few moments to chat). We also brought kites.

We also searched for crabs among the rocks,

played in the sand, dug holes,

and Ken and I had a chance to brave the colder water and splash in the waves on our own. We all got sunburns (we didn’t bother with sunscreen because we’d tried it another day and it was useless, stupid stuff! good brand, even!). We packed up much of the camp and had another nice dinner with Gramps/Nana.

Sunday: Drove home. Made better time, somewhat. Had the chance to stop and have lunch with Jim (Ken’s college buddy) and John, his partner. They found us a McDonalds with a playland so the boys were very happy to stay there forever and we had a nice long chat. We got home late afternoon, unpacked, bathed (!), and wound down. The garden missed me a lot (loads of tomatoes! Deer ate the morning glory leaves (stupid, hope they get sick) and the parsnip leaves (I’ll leave them be for now), biiig zucchini!). The weather is going to be hot this week, which sucks, but it’s nice to be home. Ethan was our biggest surprise as we weren’t sure he’d improved at all since last summer (the past month has been tough) and yet, on this trip, he’s like a different boy – he’s really much better at controlling himself.

All in all, we had a fantastic, wonderful time.

Today started off rainy – nice because rainy days tend to mean more quiet and relaxing than otherwise.

The peak of summer, which we normally have the last two weeks of July and the first week or two of August has already passed and was barely a blip on the temperature radar (drastic change from other years). We sleep at night and can leave the house open all day to let lovely breezes blow through. Naturally my instincts are telling me to start knitting – I seem to have an innate ability to prepare for the cooler temperatures with advance knitting desires. I’m already planning my projects and right now trying to get done a top for myself (summer top, ah well) to free up needle-space for other knitting. I’ve yarn being shipped for a lovely shawl and another scarf, and then I’ll be picking up more cold weather things like hats and mittens and sweaters for the boys. I love knitting season!

Yesterday I put up 4 pint jars of tomatoes. Not a huge amount, to be sure, but it’s something…. and nice. Kinda sucks that we’ll be gone and there’ll be foods from the garden we won’t eat (but others will, so all’s not lost), but I’m glad we’re going.

Today’s also the last day of rest before the travel-crazy-busy starts. There’s the more intensive planning and clothes washing and packing and organizing to do.

It’s going to be a blast, our trip to Maine. The weather looks beautifully perfect, the bugs shouldn’t be too bad (Maine being notorious for black flies), the only day of rain will be the day we head into Boston to visit the big aquarium for E’s birthday (hopefully). The boys are going to *love* the beach, I just know it. Ken worries they’ll get bored after a few days and I think he’s batty because seriously. How do you get bored of the beach? Sandcastles and rock collecting and splashing in the waves and flying kites and there’s places to walk and see and souvenirs and playgrounds… plus sleeping in a tent at night with the whole family. It’s going to be awesome.

Well, I was able to maintain the surprise up until the last minute… mostly. Ken figured out that we were camping (y’know, when I asked him where the last sleeping bag was and could he help me find it?), but not where we were going for the day (Celtic Fling at the PA Renn Fairgrounds).

The unsurprisingly part was the boys and their inability to deal. It was, in kindest terms, a disaster. Therefore, we’re back home now. We arrived, entered, shared a funnel cake, walked around a bit (fighting the whole time with the boys), until we all finally lost it and threw in the towel and fuckit came home.

Discouraged is an understatement. Ken appreciated the effort and said he would have had fun had things gone well. Whether it’s us, or the boys, our parenting or their behaviour, I don’t know.

I won’t be trying something like this again anytime soon. We’re still going to Maine this summer – but think that should go better with less stimulation and noise and less trying to keep them from from touching and breaking things (such as every storefront/booth at the faire).

As Ethan tells us constantly, “You’re Fired!”.

Reservations made. We’re planning on spending a week at the beach in Maine this August – taking a day to trip down to Boston and visit the big aquarium for Ethan’s birthday. We’ll be camping, and I’m hoping we can spend a few days building sand castles and a few days investigating tide pools and collecting rocks.

We’re pretty excited. Well, *I* am.

Wonderful summer storm we’re having right now. Torrential. Just the way I like it.

Things are a bit better. Ken’s still working almost constantly, but it’s the ‘almost’ that makes things bearable.

I finished up (mostly) a couple projects that were hanging over my head, so that feels good (and uncluttered). I made the boys an indoor hopscotch mat (Backyardigans, woo!) that was the original cause of the carpet meltage so the 1st square isn’t there and I’ll need to pick up more fabric transfer sheets to finish up. They like it, despite the number ‘3′ square being upside-down. I also (almost) finished some placemats for the table. I wanted the boys to learn where utensils go and remember having something like that when I was a child. Couldn’t find what I wanted so I made them with some poster board and self-adhesive laminate sheets (which I ran out of, so I only got 2 mats covered). I tried finding digital utensils but nothing worked well so I traced around some of our own. Not the most perfect, but definitely recognizable as *our* utensils. It’s worked beautifully and the boys actually kept their plates in front of them after they finished eating lunch today (instead of pushing their plates away, which they used to do, to my annoyance). They work will dry-erase markers as draw mat’s too, so we may have a dual-purpose item.

We dropped Victor’s nap this week. I may have to murder him.

When it rains, it pours, right? I wish I were a stronger person and that when things start to pile on me I could just shrug and keep on keepin’ on. The thing is, I’m not. I’m really very weak.

Ken’s on a project deadline, so every night is up late and working. The weekend is laptop and “play quietly and don’t pester Daddy”. Next weekend looks much the same, possibly the weekend after that (and, really, no end in sight) despite it being Father’s Day and our Anniversary. I told him that if that happens I want to stay home on Independence day weekend, as a family, and not travel up north like we’d assumed we were doing.

This weekend I started off wanting to get some of the office rearranged and quickly changed my purpose to “get a quiet space for Ken to work”. I did, and though the office isn’t done the desk/printer are better situated and cleared off, and there’s a nice spot for me to sit and read at night while he works.

The rest of the rain is dealing with Victor being 3.5yrs old and thus a little jerk much of the time. Ethan will be done with school in a week and a half and lately when Ethan and Victor play together they quickly regress into behaviour that we struggle with. We’re also struggling to figure out how to help Ethan understand and control his emotions. We’re struggling with money (who isn’t?) especially since Ken hasn’t seen a raise in 2yrs and we found out there’ll be one – at the end of this year. Ken’s struggling with having to work where he is, unhappy. I’m struggling with identity and loneliness (and weight… and depression).

So we’re struggling. I know things will improve, it’s just the slogging until that happens.

Victor had his last appt to check that his leg healed well (it did – almost no sign it was ever broken). He was “the perfect child” the whole time. You know that child – when you’re out and you see someone else’s kid who’s *so* well behaved and *so* charming. That was Victor today. He did as he was told. He stayed put without me having to ask it of him. He put things back right when I asked him (in front of the dr. who was very impressed by that). He was adorable and chatty and very nicely thanked the lady for the lollipop at the end of the visit.

Lately he tends to swing between completely adorable, chatty, telling stories and letting us know that we’re his “brest friends!”, to tantrumy, demanding, ignoring, impulse-impaired 3yr old. It’s a wild ride.

Regarding Ethan’s brain, it’s brilliant. Tonight, at dinner, Ken asked Ethan to listen to the letters he was going to say and see if he could figure out the word. He then said “H-O-M-E”. Ethan almost immediately said “I don’t know”, but we pushed and I asked him to say the sounds those letters make. “Home” he said. Ken tried again. “C-H-I-C-K-E-N” I protested that it was “a bit challenging” and Ken agreed, but we waited and after a moment Ethan said “Chicken! Like Chicken Little!” Ken reversed tactics and asked Ethan to spell out the word “Large”. “L-A-R-G” We corrected him, though I pointed out that the silent ‘e’ in “Large” doesn’t follow the rules we’ve been teaching Ethan (that silent ‘e’ makes the previous vowel say it’s name). All in all we’ve confirmed that he can read in his head, and that he’s stunningly ahead of his age/peer group. I had him read some lists of the standard sight words for each grade (the Dolch lists) and he was getting ansy at the grade 3 level (bored, really – he wasn’t in the mood to read word lists) but could do them. For completing his first year of school we’re planning on taking him to his first theater movie (Toy Story 3) an giving him a gift card or cash for a book shopping-spree.

It was quite warm yesterday and last night – we were able to leave the windows open all night (and wake up at the ungodly-bird-hour). Today promises to be ungodly hot so we’re outside, Victor and I, until the sun gets too strong/hot. I’ve set up a chair in the front lawn where I can watch Victor wander about the yard, exploring and being a (semi-destructive) goof. There’s a lovely breeze blowing, the daffodils are bloomed around the tree, the weeping cherry in back is bursting with tiny pink flowers and the waterfall is trickling away up the hill and the birds are twittering and calling.

The soil temp is up to 60F so I’m starting hardening my tomatoes/peppers/eggplants – they’ll go in the ground next week. It’s a tad early, but they need it.

Victor just helped me remember what dandelion flowers smell like, and how much I used to enjoy that smell as a child. Such a lovely morning…

Well, just a cold, really. Ethan. The rough part is that we had to give him some cough syrup to help him sleep and the repercussions of that were… less fun. We’ve cut out, entirely, all sources of artificial colourants from his diet and it’s made a huge improvement. His teachers have noticed and commented on it several times. Even the smallest amount (tic tac’s anyone?) sets him off and he’s uncontrollable for hours and defiant, destructive and distracted for days afterwards. Yesterday he yanked the earpiece off his glasses. Last night he ripped all the tissues out of his bedside tissue box. These are *not* things he’d normally do, in any way.

I need to find a source of non-coloured cold medicine (there’s no way he’d be able to handle Buckley’s, sadly). I’m not looking forward to Easter, either. I’ve got a few things, mostly chocolate. I hope he won’t mind us popping the chocolate bunny’s yellow candy eyes off before he eats it. :/

This weekend was White Day and Ken brought me home white roses, scattered with white truffles and wrapped with the titanium chain I’d been wanting. It was lovely and simple and sweet and he’s wonderful. I immediately put the family pendant on it that I’ve been working on and haven’t taken it off, save to sleep, since.

I bought some spiral cage pendants off ebay and many different, round beads of various gemstones and pretty stones that I like. I prefer the colours of the Ayurvedic (pearl, sapphire, topaz, ruby) birthstones over the “traditional” ones (moonstone, peridot, topaz, turquoise), plus I found some lovely other stones (amethyst, rose quartz, green jade, lapis, emerald, and something called Picasso Jasper – look it up, super pretty!). I’ve got 50 cages, so lots of potential. I’m planning on picking up some jewelers wire and trying to make necklaces/bracelets/earings, but the basic idea was the Mother’s pendant that I now have (well, the pearls haven’t arrived yet, but they will).

I love it, the boys each know their colour and love that I’m wearing ‘my love for them” (and myself). They both already remember which is who’s stone (and V remembers the colour names, too). The chain is so light I often forget I’m wearing anything at all, until I feel the cage move. That is, when I’m not fidgeting with it.

Tonight, after a fairly uneventful day, the boys ate (in their terms) enormous dinners. A bowl of ketchup rice each and a glass of milk is standard. Ethan had a protein drink since he passed up on broccoli (and because we’re mean) but then asked for an additional glass of milk after that. Victor had a bowl of broccoli and glass of milk and then asked for *another* glass of milk and carrots.

I easily see the future wherein they eat us out of house and home. It’s a good thing I’m starting to make more of our food (cheaper, better for us) since we’ll need to save every penny.

Today I baked my first artisan loaf from my new cookbook, Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day. The premise is that you mix up very wet dough and don’t kneed it and time takes care of the gluten-enhancing for you. It was a complete success! Super easy and utterly delicious. I mixed up the dough on Thursday and just left it in the fridge (it keeps for as long as 2wks) to develop a bit of a sourdough flavour (the longer it sits the more sourdough-ish it becomes). Took out a bit, shaped it, rested on parchment paper, tossed onto the baking/pizza stone, tossed a couple ice-cubes into the bottom of the oven (instead of steaming – neat trick, huh?) and a short while later we had deLICIOUS bread for lunch. Simply stunning! With the “Master Recipe” in the book I can make all kinds of recipes, too – everything from focaccia and pizza to baguettes and sandwich bread (and artisan loaves). I can’t wait to try them all out!

(ps. Victor just finished his 2nd milk and then said “Can I have some candy, too?”… bottom.less.pit.)

We weighed Ethan and Victor this morning (tried, with the cats, to hilarious failure). Ethan has gained back the 2lbs he lost in Nov/Dec, so he’s up to 35.2lbs. Victor’s now well over that at 37.7lbs. I suspect, for summer clothes, we’ll be buying them the same sizes.

Years ago, when Victor was still quite small, someone asked me if they were twins. I thought they were crazy since the only thing in common they had was hair cut/colour. However, now, if someone were to ask me if they’re twins, I wouldn’t be surprised. They may not look identical but they’re pretty much the same size and look about the same age, too.

It’s reinforced when you hear Victor say something like he did to me this morning as I went into the kitchen to start the tea. “So, Mommy… I hope you had good sleeps?” Such a little man!