…of yarn, that is. I’m frustrated because I’ve gotten *this* close to finishing the last bit of my current project and I’ve run out of yarn. It’s not a problem to get more, the problem is that it comes in big huge balls and I only need a small bit. ARGH! I’ve already got too many “scraps” from leftover balls! I’d thought about making a blanket to match what I’m making, but it’d take too long I think. I’ll just tuck away the extra and use it on something else sometime.

So we’ll be picking up some this weekend, and some cross-stitch stuff. I’m making my MiL a lovely little thing (very basic) for Mother’s Day. It’ll be framed, and has a basic, stitched outline, with the poem:

It’s especially poignant since she’s who gave him to me during our wedding ceremony. My mother made the same (from a pattern, and it was needlepoint) for my Gram, so I’m proud to be giving it to Sharon. I hope to have it done by next weekend (shouldn’t be hard, it’s fairly basic).

I learned yesterday that my light bleeding early this week is perfectly normal after certain activities. I’m not worried in the least anymore, since it’s not happened since then and my cramps have all but disappeared. My boobs have grown too! Not much, but they’re definately heavier/larger, noticeable by Ken and myself. *happy dance* For a small boobed girl like me, that’s very happy news!

I learned, yesterday, that:
“Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS)
This diagnostic test is usually performed between 8 and 11 weeks gestation, sometimes as late as 13 weeks. Test results are available within 7 to 14 days. There is a greater incidence of false positives because of the differences between the cellular genetic material of the choirionic villi and the fetus. There is a small chance that the sex they determine is wrong as well.”
I’m going to try for that, because finding out the sex of our baby, now that I’ve adjusted to the idea more (and realized how much easier it’ll be in picking out colours) I’m pretty excited to know. As far as non-gender colours go, we’re kinda stuck with green and yellow. Granted, I love green, and like yellow, but it’d help to know if I can do purple too, or blue. However, regardless of the sex of the baby I’m fully planning on making this. I fell in love with it the instant I saw it and *have* to make it! I could do other colours, but I think they picked just the right ones for it. It takes 3 balls, and they’re about $8 a ball (knitting really is an expensive hobby), but I can’t resist!

Ok! Enough about baby things! Yeesh! You’d think I was having one or something. Hehe.

So what’m I gonna do today? I’m going to work on eliminating a whole mess of scraps that have been piling up. I’m making multi-coloured socks! They’ll be blue-striped with other colours of stripes alternating. Who knows if they’ll look any good, but sometimes you need goofy socks, right?

Yesterday I decided that I was going to knuckle down and finish the knitting project I’m partway through right now. Today was supposed to be a big day for that, as well as tomorrow. I made a deal with Ken that if I finish it before we go up to Ontario next weekend, that I’d get to pick up this pattern book from Lewiscraft or Michaels (if I can find it), and the yarn I’d need to make one of the projects (I especially like the first, purple, one, and the 3rd, yellow, one). I’ve used this yarn before and it’s the softest I’ve ever encountered! It’s like a silky terry cloth, if you can believe it. It comes in lots of really cute colours, and I can only get them in Canada. I’ll likely end up starting it and finishing part, before I have to put it down to make my Mother’s Day present and the present I’m making for Don and Arlene (Grampa & Gram)’s 50th Anniv in June. I’ll have to finish it quickly then, because I’ve got more things to make for August and September, and then the baby’s due in October and then there’s Christmas presents (if I have time) to make. Oy! Good thing I’m not working, cause I’m too busy! I also might pick up this book. I really like the 2nd and 3rd patterns. I’m a sucker for bunting bags and one-piece suits on babies.

So…. I need to get the current project done!

On the other hand, I’m doing a very poor job of keeping up with my exercising! I said every day this week, and then yesterday didn’t happen, and the day before… yeesh! Why is it every time I tell myself that I’m going to do it, something comes up/I put it off? When someone else tells me to do it, same thing happens. Yet, when it’s a spontaneous thing I have no problems! I think I have issues with authority… even my own. *eyes rolling*

Well, today’s going well so far. Yesterday was quiet, for the rest of the day. I was a bit antsy and don’t feel like I got much done, but perhaps I needed to take a break. There was no more bleeding (phew!), and my cramps are starting to get better (w00t!). Today’s going well. I’m feeling pretty good. I did my bbt again and it remains high. It still could be a blighted ovum, but I’ll assume it’s not. I was up around 1:30 last night, tested, and was high. Took some insulin and it was back down by morning, but I don’t like being so high. Guess I ate too much dinner. It was damned good though! Burritacos, yum! Tonight is going to be tortellini with homemade sauce.

It’s funny, I’m wondering if my appetite is changing. I’ve been finding I get hungry sooner (before a meal) than I used to. I want to eat more, and my preferences are more pronounced. I want hot and spicy and/or vinegary foods. I’m passing by the chocolate/candy bowl a lot without even a second glance. I’m apathetic about certain foods, whereas I used to kinda like everything equally. *shrug* Who knows? I’m going through water much more quickly too. Usually it takes me all morning to finish my litre. I’m already done it! I don’t know, but I think my body is starting to use it, too, instead of just passing it on through.

My nipples were feeling weird this morning. Sore, and kinda a pulling feeling. I don’t quite know how to describe it. They’ve been sensitive up til now, but in a good way. Now they kinda hurt when I touch them anything but very gently. *shrug* Ken’s said he’s going to pick up a cheap calliper so we can measure any growth. Goof!

Last night I wore my summer pj’s to bed. They’re stretchy and form-fitted, so I didn’t bind myself up the way I have been with my winter ones. They were also MUCH cooler to wear, and I slept better all around. It was a nice change not to wake up roasting and have to kick off the covers during our morning snuggle. I hate to think about how I’m going to manage summer!

The weather looks beautiful for this weekend, so I’m really looking forward to getting out of the house. It’s supposed to go up to 55 deg!! I’m planning on airing out the whole house! We’ll likely lock Suzie in the bathroom when we do. I wouldn’t want her to catch a chill, and I was able to air out the bedroom/bathroom the other day when the temp went up to 40.

Last night Ken and I decided that sometime this Spring/Summer we’re going to have a woodworking weekend. I’ve found a really great pattern that’d be easy for me to do, cheap and look super nice, and he’s going to make me a Spice Rack for above the stove. I’m kinda excited about that.

Well, last night was…. worrisome. I started getting really bad cramps. Worse than I’ve had before. So I curled up on the bed for a bit til they passed (not too long). Got up and when I peed there was a small amount of blood. Mkay, I know spotting is perfectly normal. I know low-grade cramps are perfectly normal. I know that the two together are cause for worry. I’m not going to rush myself off to the hospital or dr’s office. I’ve got my appointment on Monday, and I know there’s nothing I can do about it if something’s decided to happen. If the pregnancy turns out to be a blighted ovum (everything in there but the working embryo), then fine. I can deal. If the pregnancy is going to terminate itself, I know there’s not a damned thing I or a doctor can do to stop it. If it’s going to happen, I’d rather it happen now anyways, than after I hear a heartbeat or feel movement. Even now it’s hard to believe I’m pregnant, since there’s only mild symptoms and those could be other things all miraculously happening at once. At the very least, I did my bbt this morning and it was still high, so hopefully that’s the indication that everything’s peachy keen still. We’ll see.

So, in leu of last night, I’m taking it easy today. I know I said I was going to workout every day this week, but plans change. I will tomorrow, barring any unforseen circumstances, and will continue after that. I just need a mental health day, I think.

Well, I’ve just made my first appointment scheduling. Weeeeeeeee!

Dr. Mary-Beth Miller is going to be our Ob/Gyn. She looked the nicest and she’s covered by our plan and she’s a woman. I’ll be most comfortable with a woman since I’ve had mostly women doctors my whole life (which is a lot of doctors, trust me!). We’re scheduled for March 1st at 8:30am. I’d hoped to schedule it for March 4th, and Ken’s dermatology appt for the same day so he could take the day off work, we do the doctor thing, then drive up to Canada a bit early. Less tiring, more streamlined appointments. Unfortunately, first time appts are on Mon/Tues, and his derm dr’s first available appt isn’t until March 25! I’m hoping, now, that he can take Monday morning off, and thursday afternoon off, and count that as a whole day. We’ll still make it up earlier then. We’ll see what his boss says…

So today is the start of Week 3!! I’m so excited!! That means we’re getting brain lobes and a spinal cord. I’m doing my best to keep my sugar’s below 200 mg/dL (11 mmol/L). The ideal range for me, of course, is “perfect” (between 90-130 mg/dL [aka 5-7 mmol/L]). That, however, is extremely hard to attain. My Medical Management of Pregnancy Complicated by Diabetes book has a chart that shows my risk/safety zone. I’m fairly comfortable/happy if I stay under 200 mg/dL, I think. I’ve done averages for my sugars the past month in excel and my average test is 138.8 (7.7), so it appears I’m doing ok. Even when my sugars were *less* than ideal, I’d usually average (blood test medical average) around 13, so I think we’ll be ok statistically. I know there’s still a chance of spontaneous abortion, but I think they’re not isolating the aborted pregnancies caused by diabetes. I’m pretty sure there’re quite a lot that happen just because. I’m taking care of myself, I’m eating well and drinking tons of water. I’m drinking more milk than I used to, too. I’m still eating a higher protein/lower carb diet, but I’m still eating carb (just less). In fact, I’ve lost 2 lbs since last week! Weird. I’m not supposed to start gaining weight yet, and even when I do I want to try and keep it under 20-30 lbs if possible. I hope it’s doable!

Well, I’ve got laundry to do, bread to bake, chicken to grill, and exercising to do, so busy me has lots to do! Good thing I’m feeling extra energetic today!

Where to start?

Sharon. Mkay, we got up saturday morning and went in for breakfast. Sharon and I sat in the rockers by the porch and chatted for a long time. Mostly her. It was like she’d not had anybody to talk to for weeks and it was all saved up inside. Kinda cute, actually. I think it’s more of a case of us getting closer and her being more comfortable chatting with me about everything. As we talked I flipped through the quilting book; commenting/talking about a quilt here or an idea there. Finally my moment came and I asked her how long it would take to make *this* quilt? Her answer, I’d hoped, would be “X months”. It wasn’t. “It depends.” Mkay, so we talked about why/what depends for a bit. I tried again… “just a guess, how long would it take to do something like this?” Again, we talked about different variables that would affect the length required to finish said quilt. Different tactic required. “Well, it wouldn’t take so long if you only made it *this* big (baby quilt sized), right?” *pause* *hopeful smile* “Are you trying to tell me something?”
*L* She was so funny. She got so excited and jumped up and kept exclaiming that she’s going to be a Grandma and turned to Rick to tell him he’d be a Grandpa (which he later said she was tearing up when she did, so it was maybe a tactic to hide that). She hugged us and finally sat/calmed down. We talked a bunch more and she’d been wondering if we were pregnant. She was going to buy a rattle but didn’t want to jinx it.

We couldn’t visit the Grandparentals because Grampa was away and Gram was flying out late Saturday night to see him. We called her though, and Ken says she was super excited and giddy about it. She’s such a sweetheart.

We tried for an opportunity to tell Janis and Wayne but the perfect time came when Wayne was out on the porch grilling. Ken was commenting to Janis about how things have been changing in our lives the past year… graduating, moving to PA and getting a job, dating me, getting married, getting pregnant… She paused over the stove and turned to me asking me if he were trying to say I’m pregnant. I grinned and she congratulated us. She said we should tell Wayne the way she told him when she was pregnant, so once we were sat down for dinner Ken asked Wayne “How many people are at this table?” He turned to Janis, then laughed and asked if we were kidding? After confirmation, he repeated (all night) “how cool” that was and congrats to us. It was really funny. He’s insisting the kid(s) call him Gramps.

We called Kate to tell her. I think Ken may have woken her up, I’m not sure. The first thing she said was “Oh, great, another person to buy presents for!”. I was kinda hurt by that. I think Ken was a bit dissapointed too. She did say, somewhere in their conversation, congratulations, but that initial reaction was… insensitive. Of course, being that this is my *first* pregnancy, I’m a bit sensitive about it, so who knows?

The weekend was a success, if a bit emotionally draining.

Dad knows we’re coming up in two weeks, and apparently Lea/Brian are good for dinner sometime that weekend. I’m really looking forward to telling everyone!

Things I’ve figured out about my pregnancy:
I get super tired between 11-12am, and 3-4pm. If my bloodsugar is normal/lowish and I’ve an empty stomach I get nauseous (no vomiting yet though!). My weight is stable so far. My nipples are starting to darken. The cramps sometimes coincide with my tired spells, and when they do I get nauseous again.

So tonight we’re going up to VT for the weekend. We’ll be telling Sharon (MiL) saturday morning (more details later), and Wayne (FiL) saturday night. We’d hoped to tell his Gram and Grampa saturday afternoon, but they’re not going to be home. We’ll have to do it over the phone or through the family grape-vine, I suppose. Same goes for Kate (SiL).

Details:
Sharon’s telling is going to be me flipping through her most recent quilting book (*super* cute quilts) and finding the really cute sheep one that I saw before and asking her how long it’d take her to make it? Then I’ll comment casually “So as long as I tell you before then we’ll have it in time?” Followed by a big grin and waiting for her to put two and two together (which shouldn’t take long, she’s as quick minded as Ken).

Wayne’s telling is going to be Ken’s job (or, more likely since he couldn’t figure out a fun way to do it, mine). My idea is for him to ask if he can get a deal on good, furniture quality, wood from his Dad (who manages a hardware store) so that he can build a crib. Then we’d go on as if nothing was going on and let them either piece it together or ask.

We’re so sneaky!

As for how I’m going to tell my family, it’s going to be a basic telling. Dad first, Karen (cousin/best-friend) next (we’re doing lunch), Lea/Brian (sis/SO) and Jamie/Ian (cousin/SO) next (dinner), Jess (girlfriend) either before or after the dinner with Lea (we’re doing lunch). Beyond that we’re going to allow the family grape-vine take care of the rest, on both sides of the family. They’re quite efficient!

Today I’m baking muffins (blueberry oatmeal and ch. chip) to take up to VT with us, packing our stuff, and taking off to get Ken and go. Lets hope this weekend goes as well as we’re hoping!

Well, this morning was spent driving to Scranton (1hr) to the SSA office to find out that, thank GOD!, yes they have my documents (I was afeared they were lost in the mail or something). Bad news is that they have to send copies to INS to find out why my name comes up as both Helberg and McClendon. Oy! That’s going to take 6-8 wks before *they* hear back, then another who knows how long until I get my SSN.

Good news is I have my documents safely back, and the woman said she’d be working on it personally. We’ll likely have to file for an extension for Ken’s taxes, of which we really need the $$, but we’ll manage. Other good news is that I have updated health plan info and it looks like the local hospital, with the seemingly good ob/gyn center, is completely covered (along with anestheticians, YAY!). I’ll be calling around next week to try and find a dr, probably. I wanted to go into the hospital next weekend to visit their birthing center and talk with the nurses, but there may not be time for that til later. C’est la vie!

The weather’s warming up, too! Today feels like Spring is just around the corner, YIPPEEE!!

Well, first things first.  I’m covered by Ken’s healthcare right now, so I can call around and try to find a dr who’ll take me tomorrow and know that it’ll be paid for.  We have a good local hospital, who is also on the plan.  The healthcare people would like me to have my SSN (to make sure it’s me, and not Ken’s “most recent lay” ) but they’ll cover me until I get it.

Crappy news about that is that I called SSA and *finally* got hold of someone helpful, who spoke english.  Turns out that I wasn’t allowed to mail in my appl, and I’m going to have to drive to Scranton tomorrow to find out if they’ve lost my documents or not.  She said they’d likely have them on file, since they didn’t send them back with a letter explaining things (which they were supposed to do).  Hopefully everything will go well. *fingers crossed*

The information overload was that I found a website that documents (with photos) births of all sorts.  Hospital, home, graphic, vaginal, etc etc.

What in God’s name am I doing?!?

*deep breath in*

*deep breath out*

Mkay, labour is messy, knew that.  It’s painful, knew that.  It’s scary, pretty much knew that.

I’m still scared.

I slept really poorly last night. I couldn’t get to sleep, and tossed and turned all night. Partly due to some cramping, partly due to Idon’tknowwhat. I’m tired today, but feel really good.
So on to the details.
Babycenter.com says my due date is Sunday, October 24, 2004 and that I’m 4 wks pregnant. The baby looks like:

It’s officially called an embryo, and this week cells are going to start separating into brains, spinal cord, nerves, skin/digestive system, liver, pancreas/heart, muscles, skeleton. This site, I found, is *extremely* informative!

Today I’m going to find the most fun way to tell my friends, catch up on the boards, workout, and work on my current knitting project.

Well, I can tell now because Ken’s on the phone with his best-friend Jim and both already know.

******** I’M PREGNANT!!! ********

Hehe!

I made some cute little yellow booties and hung them at eye-level where he’d see them when he came home. I also mounted the pregnancy test I took where he’d see it. He was very happy, and we hugged for a long time. I think we were both almost tearing up.

After dinner we went to the pharmacy to buy more tests. The one I’d taken was slightly expired, though I was confident it wouldn’t affect the accuracy much. It showed up very quickly, so I felt sure it was accurate. I took another test tonight and it showed up just as fast. I took some pictures tonight (I’ll post them tomorrow). I know I’m a goof but I’m just so happy about this.

I commented to Ken that despite my usual tendency to worry/stress over things (especially things I can’t control) I’m feeling inordinantly calm right now.

I’ve also got rosier than normal cheeks (they’ve been that way for a week or so), I get cold much easier, I was tired for a few weeks but that seems to have passed, I’m crampy (either implantation or constipation, I’m not sure), my nipples are EXTREMELY sensitive and I’m slightly water-retentive (but not as much as a normal period).

No nausea yet though! W00t! (of course, now that I’ve said that…)

Well, now that *that* bit of silliness has been added, where to start? I suppose at the beginning? Sounds good.I’m starting this journal with the hopes of having something tangible to take me back in time. Memories slip by me sometimes, and I like to remember the little things. Knowing that today has been an antsy day and I’ve been bouncing around waiting waiting waiting for Ken to get home so that I can surprise him. I may not remember that 20 years from now. I may not want to. But just in case…So what’s so special about today? Well, today I found out something kinda exciting. I’m not going to say *just* yet, because I have a plan and want to keep control of that as much as possible. Cryptic, huh? I’ll tell you tomorrow, likely. If I do though, I hope you won’t tell any other boards I may frequent. I’ll tell one and all when I’m good and ready.

Of course, that’s assuming anybody reads this drivel.

My stomach’s grumbling, and it’s still another few hours til dinner. Le sigh. At least it’s a good dinner. Zatarain’s Chicken Creole (with hot sausage). One of my fav’s, and so damned easy!

Just a quick note to explain. I have/had a livejournal account, however since they don’t allow archiving of posts I’m setting up this new journal on my own server with my own program (WordPress, for any interested parties…so far I love it). There will, therefore, be 1.5yrs worth of back posts that don’t have comments in them, which sucks. I could probably add the comments in though, but don’t know yet if I can do that. We’ll see.  I’m leaving out silly posts like meme’s and keeping track of workouts and such, and links won’t work, but the data is there.
So this is my journal, detailing my life and that of my family. I can’t promise it’s any good to read, as it’s mostly for my own purposes right now, but perhaps later on down the road I’ll get better at writing and this blog will be more interesting to read.